Monday, November 19, 2007

Communication Problems :P

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

In The Men's Room

Found this HILARIOUS joke

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying,
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't
know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says,
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At this point, I'm thinking this is too
bizarre so I say,
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can, when I hear
another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me, but I figured I could just
be polite and end the convesation. I tell him,
"No......I'm a little busy right now!!!"

The i hear the guy say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall
who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

Ebay Funnies !!!! :-)

Following are some of very funny and absurd replies / feedbacks on ebay ! :)


POSITIVE: Item shipped quickly, have been having erotic dreams about seller. Thanks!

POSITIVE: Thanks for great Rainbow Brite lunchbox. Should shrunken head be inside?

NEUTRAL: Excellent communication, but should've poked holes in box before shipping the kitten. Refunded.

NEGATIVE: Despite indication in listing, I could not fit item into any of my body cavities.

NEGATIVE: Honda R-Type sticker did not add horsepower as advertised.

NEUTRAL: Item shipped promptly and in good condition, but I should not have to bid on birthday presents from my parents.

POSITIVE: I don't really remember what I ordered. But I've been sitting in the box it came in all day, and it's great!

NEGATIVE: Product didn't work, possibly broken. I woke up this morning and was disappointed to find I still believe in Jesus Christ our Savior. :(

POSITIVE: Excellent Buyer. A++++++. Thrilled by the quartz movement of the "Rolex". HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

NEGATIVE: Should have been clearer that seller only accepts payment in Bhats via Eastern Union Moneygram.

POSITIVE: Plain brown packaging seemed to fool my wife. Thanks!

NEGATIVE: The dog won't hunt.

NEGATIVE: Very nice monkey mascot costume, but it's a size 34, not a 63 as advertised.

NEGATIVE: Lederhosen not as pink as the picture led me to believe.

POSITIVE: A+++++. Items are exactly as described. Best case of kalashnikovs I've ever bought. Allah Akbar!

NEGATIVE: This is clearly the ninth, NOT THE SIXTH, repackaging of Mad Super Special #24.

POSITIVE: One of the scents mixed in with the packing peanuts remind me of a passionate weekend in Rio... was that you?

POSITIVE: The way you wrote my zip-code makes me weak in the knees. Such smooth strokes. A+!

NEGATIVE: Though you did nothing wrong, I am giving you this negative feedback to teach you that the universe is arbitrary and unfair.

NEGATIVE: Buying this Space 1999 Lunchbox did not fill the void in my empty life for as long as I'd hoped.

Some Wierd Yet Amazing Facts

1) In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

2) Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

3) Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

4) It is impossible to lick your elbow.

5) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

6) Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

7) 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

8) Question: If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

Answer: One thousand

9) In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase... "goodnight, sleep tight."

10) It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

11) In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

12) Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

13) This is pretty sick. I can read it actually!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amazing huh?

Monday, November 5, 2007

Call Of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare Review

Note : This post is dedicated to Nomi (Maskman) :P

Well, honestly i didn't felt like putting down the controller but


  • My son was crying
  • My wife was ticked off again at my xbox :P
  • Playing on hardest difficulty was granting me endless deaths on one spot so i took a break


So here is my small hand's on experience with this awesome game

GUI

It's not every day that you boot up a game and GUI comes and you KNOW that its going to rock, the main menu sets the mood of an action flick ready to unfold by you, all the transactions during the mission (briefing) are done in a very eye catching / breath taking cinematics which will make you believe that you are watching a superb war movie till the game kicks in and you are ready for action, superbly done, yes there is difference between cinematics and actual game play graphics at times but none the less infinity ward managed to set the mood, 10/10

Graphics

I guess when they said next gen this was one of the games they had in mind, the graphics are simply superb and to top it all it runs without a frame drop on 1080p. Surroundings are according to the map and mission, the first map cargo ship reminded me of good ol counter strike map with the same name hehe!

Second map was mix or urban and jungle environment and most of the times i died because i was admiring one thing or the other, you have to rescue an informant here

You start the game as SAS and than move to Marine Core operations and the first mission reminds you of none other than Black Hawk Dawn, if you are playing on Veteran than you really can't help but question yourself "shit can it be so freaking hard for real?"

Cinematics

Although i have praised the cinematics before but honestly they deserve a section of their own, Till now i thought the intro movie was breath taking and than i was slapped with another awesome fmv in which you see yourself being dragged in a car and than pushed in the back of the car and drove around the city and than ....... maybe you should watch it on your own to enjoy it :)

Game play

Honestly FPS have nothing unique to offer recently, its all old school, run from point A to B go behind a cover (very much necessary if you want to servive) shoot, move ahead. What makes COD4 a little bit exception is all the "action" going around you, shots are being fired, RPG's flying over your head, grenades coming right to your feet when you go in a cover, damn you really can't stay in a place for a long time without dying :P

I would like to mention this one instance in which i shot an enemy point blank as he came out of corner, as he was falling down he fired his RPG and it went swooshing right besides me hit the wall behind me and i died, i was like stunned for a moment, so yeah getting killed in this game can be fun and unique too

Sound

For the sound track till the point i have played i would love to give it 20/10 (Yes, Twenty out of Ten, its not a typo) it very much sets the mood for you.

Sound effects other than the music are crisp and room comes to life if you have decent set of 5.1, bullets flying, grenades exploding, your team mates yelling, its insane, its fun ! :)

Multiplayer

I haven't tried playing on live as yet, but my experience of Beta is superb i have posted it some place here i believe, will post once i have a go at it

Overall

Overall, honestly if i had to buy this game (which i am by the way) i would go for the regular version of the game, not the collectors version but than again that's just me